Knox | A Birth Story
This past week has been a whirlwind. Baby Matthew Knox has officially joined our family and we couldn’t feel more complete. His birth story starts last Tuesday night, Oct 8th. I headed to work, 39 weeks pregnant and fully hoping that the evening would be busy with lots of walking to help kickstart some labor. For those who don’t know, I am a part time ICU nurse. I had what appeared to be one of the lower acuity assignment but as with any ICU patients, they are unpredictable and my night got busy. With the help of my co workers we had settled the acute situation going on and I was working on catching up on my charting when I heard a pop and felt the much anticipated “breaking of water”. I had been having what I thought were Braxton Hicks contractions for weeks and for a slight moment thought in the midst of the action over the last couple hours, “I think I might be having regular frequent contractions?” Not being sure and with a lot of work at hand, I brushed it off and continued working.
When my water broke, it was 3am Oct 9th. I quickly changed gears and wanted to head to triage (at the same hospital I work). I called and woke my husband, worked on a childcare plan for our twin toddlers at home and was wheeled over to triage.
After my water broke, the contraction intensity picked up big time. I let my nurse know I was ready for an epidural. This is actually encouraged when doing a VBAC in case my delivery needs to change to an emergent c-section. A VBAC means attempting vaginal birth after previously having a c-section. The biggest concern with this is uterine rupture. Initially the epidural dropped my blood pressure a little too much so they backed off on the amount, I still felt contractions it just took the edge off. In a way, retrospect, I kind of liked having to “labor” and work through contractions instead of being pain free the whole time.
Over the next several hours of labor I really leaned on my support team in the room. My husband held my hand or rubbed my back from the beginning to the end. My best friend Emily served as my doula and never missed a contraction to calmly and quietly remind me to relax my muscles and breathe through it. My other bestie Michaela documented the day and kept me encouraged throughout the labor and pushing. Around 430pm they checked me and I was fully dilated and effaced. Baby was still higher up than desired which just meant to plan for lots of pushing. However, to everyones surprise, especially my midwife, we started pushing and about one hour later, Baby Knox was here in all his 8.6 pounds and 22 inches of glory.
To be transparent, my first delivery had major complications and in a way left me with a bit of “PTSD” (read Hattie and Hazels birth story here.) When baby Knox was placed on my chest I quickly took note that he was breathing (crying), rooting and was a beautiful pink bundle of goodness. So my attention switched back to watching my midwife and asking a few times; “Am I ok?” “Am I hemorrhaging?” She reassured me I wasn’t and everything looked good, but I still needed to hear that more than once. Eventually I relaxed and realized, I am indeed ok. Baby is ok. We are ok.
This experience couldn’t be more opposite of my first delivery, although I don’t think its fair to compare the experiences. There are a lot of uncomfortable parts to healing after a vaginal birth, but it has been quicker and more tolerable than recovering from my c-section. (Plus, one baby verses two- that is a game changer.) So far for us, the toddler twins are still the more challenging part of parenting than adding a newborn into the mix. I loved each and every health care worker we had on our team over our couple days at the hospital and really felt like they were destined to be a part of our story.
We are home now and adjusting to life as a family of five. The twins initially were not interested or fond of the idea of this “baby” that is requiring mom and dads attention. We are still working on this balance but the girls are starting to warm up to their new baby brother. They wake up asking “where’s the baby?” and like to help say “shh shh shh” when baby brother is crying. Hazel likes to help place his pacifier and Hattie, well she is still keeping a distance but at least is acknowledging his existence. And Ryan, he couldn’t be more smitten with having a son. I don’t think he even knows how transparent it is. He has been the best partner, support and father to our children through this process. He has had to take on the energy of our girls all day while I heal and breastfeed and refuses to sleep through the night if I have to be up too, being on diaper duty, grabbing me water or whatever need he sees.
I know all too well how quickly this newborn stage will be over and his birth story will start to feel like a hazy memory. This is why I love this space. Documenting the pieces I don’t want to lose. The days are long but the years are short and I don’t want to take for granted this sweet time in our family. As the song linked to the page says;
“Let’s not forget these early days
Remember we begin the same
We lose our way in fear and pain
Oh Joy Begin.”
